SOMETIMES

you just need your mum. today i really needed mine. even if i got up this morning thinking that i could cope and that somehow i'd plough on with a headache from hell. sometimes there is nothing better than just having your mum with you and telling you it's ok to have some help.

so thank you mum for letting me nap for an hour. to soak in a lavender bath. for taking elsa for 3 walks. ironing the holiday laundry. and making her a beautiful skin-friendly-cotton cardigan. i am a lucky daughter indeed.

TAKE IT TO THE BRIDGE

thank you so much...

to every one of you who left a comment or emailed me regarding the last post. all of your thoughts and suggestions made me feel that bit more reassured...we shall be trying out things {so many things i'm sure} over the next few weeks and i fear months ahead. elsa's skin continues to be up and down...one day it looks like it's improving and that we've turned a corner and then it looks worse than ever.

but tomorrow we are heading away on holiday. over the waves to visit the family in mayobridge...ireland. tomorrow a road trip lays ahead and a ferry ride then more driving. the volvo is bursting at the seams with luggage. i am filled with excitement and nerves in equal measure. time away with a baby. away from the security of our home enviroment. but how wonderful to be introducing our girl to all her gorgeous gorgeous relatives who have patiently waited 4 months to see her. i am thinking that i'm probably not going to get quite my quota of cuddles as she will be passed from grandparents to aunts to uncles to cousins to nieces and nephews!!

and another good thing is that we'll be able to see how she is in a slightly different climate...no mr b...softer water...and hopefully more relaxed parents! i shall be back to report on our adventures in a few weeks. in the meantime cheerio to may and once again thanks so much for your concern and kind words xX

PLANET ELSA

one of the hardest things i'm finding in the vast expanse of the parent-galaxy is the feeling of helplessness when it comes to your little one's health. the sheer responsibility of making decisions on what to do and what not to do in order to keep your precious baby content and comfortable is downright hard.

here is my latest quandry. baby eczema.

when elsa was born she had the most perfect soft skin. rubbing the little bridge of her nose was {and still is} an addiction. so seeing it change over recent weeks to being dry and rashy and obviously irritating has left me desperate to make it better. poor sweet e has had many trips to the doctors and potions and lotions applied...she is just finishing a course of antibiotics to clear up an infection where she'd broken her skin from rubbing it. the mention of steroids and antibiotics freaks me out quite frankly when it comes to such a tiny new body...but i feel compelled to take the advice of the experts and try to help her feel soothed whatever it takes.

this time last year we had just come to the end of our 4th round of ivf. and you know how the story ended of course. but thinking back to that whole build up to the miracle of a positive we got i very much remember how controlled i felt in the process. not at that moment when we were placed in the hands of the laboratory but in the days when i could eat well...have accupucture...take supplements...sleep!..knowing that i was doing the right thing to help. now i am struggling with direction.

we have a skin specialist nurse booked to come and see the girl. in the meantime i am trying skin food from weleda...baby salve from organic babies...sos cream from barefoot botanicals...{all suggested via various forums and friends} having already gone down the path of aqueous creams and bath emolients that made the problem worse. hydrocotisone has been prescribed. today it was suggested that we try switching to dairy-free formula. i use surcare for all our laundry. the heat doesn't help...water turns her skin to flakes and nightime is when it's worse. it is on my mind but i can't bear to think it could be mr bosco.

fresh air is good. that i know. but i can't keep her al fresco all the time...so i'd be grateful of any ideas or experiences you have dear readers.

p.s. i have to add a footnote to say that elsa is actually very happy and chubby and drooly and coo-y too...and this time next week she is off across the sea to meet her relatives in ireland!

THAT'S NOT MY KITCHEN

oh that it were.

it is mr peacock's. he who wears saffron moleskin trousers teamed with a floral shirt. in fact i do believe it was a suit. charming. i could happily have photographed every nook and cranny to share with you had i not had a wriggling four month old on my lap!

we read about peacocks in country living this month. it's not that far from where we live and it was lovely to find a little gem that's so close by. i would heartily recommend a visit if you happen to be anywhere near ely.

and so three girls took tea together. {devonshire...with two freshly baked scones and clotted cream} my mum had a little dance with elsa whilst i finished off my earl grey. another day we fancy returning for their set tea of pink perfection...sitting by the river under the wisteria in the may sunshine was a little piece of heaven this week.

and 72 different teas are served there. perhaps i shall work my way through the list? i feel drawn to number 47 {pleine lune} what is your favourite blend?

MONDAY SEW

just the binding to hand-stitch. a nice job that allows for a bit of telly-watching with a cup of tea.

BRING ME SUNSHINE

in your smile.

my favourite month...you are halfway through. this year you brought sadness and yet all around you are still beautiful. the bluebells and the lilacs and the tiny flowers on the rosemary.

i plan on enjoying the simple things even more so before the last day of may. yesterday a spontaneous family lunch by the river. elsa smiling in her buggy with her grandma and grandpa. today making lemon curd. and time to read the sunday paper...well the arts section and magazine anyway!

tonight...clean {ironed...yes i am quite impressed with myself} linen on the bed.

this week. meeting a best friend. a trip to a tea room. sewing. wear a skirt and sandals.

so much joy you can give...to each brand new bright tomorrow.

OUR SNOW BABY

she arrived in the middle of a very cold winter. a lot of snow fell in the last few weeks of my pregnancy and in the first few weeks of her life on the outside. dee beale's snowy owls seemed the perfect reminder of the season of elsa's arrival.

{now i just need to think up a story in order to buy the sleeping foxes and spring wrens!}

find dee's beautiful work on etsy and folksy.